Will it Ever End?

About a week ago I got a call from the police at 1:30 in the morning. Apparently my ex-boyfriend was threatening to come over to my house and shoot and kill both me and my daughter. He said the voices in his head were telling him to do this. He'd called a crisis hotline and told them this; they in turn called the police, who called me. The police also came to his residence and 302'd him. For those not in the know, this is a procedure whereby one is signed into a psychiatric residence by someone other than oneself. So, off he went to the VA Hospital's psych ward once again.

This has happened more times than I can count; I'm thinking about 10 times. Then there were the times when he signed himself in. Aside from that hospital, he's been to many other hospital's psych wards as well. He must feel at home there.

I called my local District Justice, Ernest Marraccini, who was quite nice and seemed concerned, only he thought this threat did not actually violate the PFA. Because of how the threat occured, he didn't think it qualified as third-party contact, which is a violation of the PFA order. He told me I was more than welcome, though, to go to Night Court and get a second opinion. This was somewhat discouraging, but I've learned the system tends to protect the criminal/nutcase.

At first, I wasn't going to bother going to Night Court, but when I learned my ex was going to be released from the hospital after only three days there, I felt I needed to pursue the matter. I spoke with one of his doctors, who was kind enough to share his thoughts regarding the incident. He said my ex's behavior was "anti-social" and what he did, he did to scare me, but it backfired on him. He didn't expect the police to be contacted, or to be tossed back in the psych ward.

So, off I went to Night Court the next night, only to discover my local DJ, the aforementioned Ernest Marraccini, was the judge on the bench that night. He'd left me a message which I didn't actually retrieve until I arrived at court, telling me he would be working that night and was wondering how I was doing. It seemed he must have thought about what my ex had done, and had a change of heart. He even helped me fill out the paperwork, and when he did that, I knew my ex was going to be charged with Indirect Criminal Contempt and that he would be arrested and go to jail, again. I guess the first time in jail didn't teach him anything. Perhaps he wanted to go back because he fits in so well with some of the scum of the earth. Judge Marraccini later did tell me he thought about it and changed his mind.

I called the jail and found out he was being held on $5,000 bail, and had to come up with $530 to be bailed out. Someone must have helped him because he was out after a couple of days. Then, we had to go to court yet again.

He was standing on the corner across from the courthouse looking very important talking on his cell phone, as I was walking from the opposite direction after parking my car in a garage. (This costs me $8 every time; this has now been the 5th or 6th time.) I just knew he was going to approach me. He crossed the street, disconnected his important call, and came right up to me, saying something like, "Where's your Christianity?" when he could see I was not slowing down to talk to him. This enraged him. I treated him much like one would treat a homeless beggar, make no eye contact and keep moving. Well, he was homeless for six years in New York City, as he told me. You can take the homeless man off the streets of New York... Anyway, he then threatened me saying, "You'll find out what will happen. I'll have you locked up for perjury." He muttered some other stuff and was wallking quickly away toward the entrance of the courthouse, all agitated like.

Is he totally retarded, or just psychotic? I'm going to be locked up for perjury? After the police 302'd him and wrote up a report about him threatening to kill me? He went into the building and was at the end of the line to go through the metal detector. I waited outside, as I was not going to be in there standing right behind him. A couple of minutes later he walked out and said angrily"You can go in first!" So I went, and didn't look back.

A representative from another woman's domestic violence agency spoke with me and asked me what I would like to have happen. I said very assuredly, "I want him to go to jail." She obtained the police report detailing his threats, showed it to the DA that was there, and they are going to pursue the charges. It's kind of confusing. We'll have to go to court again, but its across the street, in another courthouse. It's still a PFA matter, but its also a criminal matter, as I understand it. It doesn't matter what it is, really, as long as the outcome is the same. Hopefully, he'll do some jail time, but I have my doubts. I was told the judge who will hear the case takes these matters very seriously.

The date is set for April 19th. I'm thinking he may skip town and head back to New Jersey where his family is. That would work. The problem is, I don't know if I am safe. He knows where I live, and I really, really, do not feel like moving. I worry about my daughter, our cars, our two precious cats, and myself, of course. Why can't he just accept that its over between us and move on?