Someone Hire Me!!!

I've been out of work for a while. About three years to be exact. You see, I have this depression, bipoloar problem. There it is, I said it. I've been on disability all this time, and in the past two years, I've been in a horrible relationship with a guy who is 1) a pathological liar 2) a gambler 3) a loser 4) dirty 5) also bipolar. I could go on but I don't want to waste too much time talking about someone with whom I've wasted two years of my life.

So I go to the job boards everyday, Monster, HotJobs, PA CareerLink, PA JobMatch, Post-Gazette. I send out resumes up the wazoo, and occasionally go on interviews. At some interviews I start getting panic attacks, this is especially bad when the room is small and the interviewer keeps talking. I feel the room start to spin. At one interview, to try to get the panic attack under control, I asked for water, then I asked for the door to be opened, citing claustrophobia. I never know when its going to hit. I simply pray and pray that it won't happen.

I haven't written for a while, but I read somewhere that writing is good for the psyche. It releases some kind of chemical that overnight, turns you into a Supermodel. So I just can't wait till tomorrow. One Supermodel once said, "I don't get out of bed for less than $10,000 a day." In my lifetime, I have often gotten up out of bed for $-56 a day, or less.

Anyhow, the boyfriend is gone, and my house smells much better now. Really, he didn't take showers for like 9 days at times. We had stopped having sex long ago, thanks to the drug oxycodone and percocet, which made him unable to umm, stand tall. In the past, he would leave and I'd let him come back, because he'd call me from the psych ward of some hospital, I'd feel sorry, and need his money, so I'd give it a try again. I have ordered my friends and relatives to shoot me on site if he is seen within 100 yards of me.