Ooops! She did it Again...

"Mom," she says, choking tearfully on the phone, "I wrecked." I'm getting used to this type of phone call. It's been three times now. There was another time the car was hit while it was parked and she wasn't in it, so its actually four times.

"Are you okay?" I say, knowing she must be, since she's calling me. My first reaction is relief that she's OK, but then it slowly turns to anger. Megan, middle initial "C" which is for Catherine, now stands for "Crash."

She got her license a little over a year ago and I allowed her to use my car. Unfortunately, while they are driving, teens like to talk on their cell phones, eat, smoke, apply makeup, change radio stations, wash their hair, change clothes, contemplate life, and look for stuff in the back seat. These things take precedence over what is happening around them, such as other cars, stop signs, traffic lights, etc.

Now licensed, they think an accident cannot, and will not, happen to them. In fact, when they're driving with you, they'll tell you that you're a lousy driver, even though you've been driving since well before they were born.

My poor car is only five years old, and it looks like it belongs at the scrap yard. I have a high deductible, so I don't have the money to get it fixed. But there's an upside to this. When I'm driving, people see how banged up the car is, and steer clear of me. If someone cuts me off, I race to cut in front of them, not caring if I take off the fender. If someone hits me, hell, I just keep going.

To avoid all this, there are some options for you parents of driving age teens: sell your car and get a bike. If this won't do, buy a rusted 1972 Pinto. You are then guaranteed your teenager will not go within 100 yards of the car. Trust me, they wouldn't be caught dead in it. The other option involves sending said teenager off to Siberia or the North Pole at age 16, and not allowing them to return until age 25. This is probably the best option, as you'll save not only your car, but your sanity.